I’m just not mad at LA. Acquaintances who know me for the bend of my letter “i” (for me, the word Sprite rhymes with Diet) — they find this strange. You like LA?? But the friends and foes that really know me, they immediately nod in understanding.
LA is full of it and full of shit - main characters, nemeses, harrowing origin stories, and .. side quests galore. For example — while I was in town last week — my client Elizabeth and I went to dinner with an old magic farmer friend of hers. And if we’d just loitered over our Caesar salads and beets longer at dinner — we woulda’ run right into a barefoot, pillow-clutching Britney Spears at the valet outside. You just never know.
I try to do something *new* or *new to me* everywhere I go and when I kept seeing headspa reviews pop up in my algorithm, I was quickly influenced. A week out from my trip, I googled “best head spa in LA” — then, did some additional trip-advisor scrolling — and finally landed on the “Blow Me Away” Salon’s availability schedule to find ONE lone appointment on the following Tuesday. The rest of the calendar for 4 weeks was rows and rows of Xs. Booked that shiz with a quickness and fast forward through a travel montage — found myself standing in front of the nondescript building.
** Just a sidebar to this side quest ** I’d like to add that I have what medical doctors call “high-functioning anxiety” and what I call “swallowing extreme fear and coping by way of agonizing immersion over and over to get through life.” While I looked forward to this — my brain: “yeah, you got excited, researched it, and then booked it, dummy.” — I was still nervous before going. In these instances, I know historically I always end up being glad I went and aggressively tell myself that to prod me into it, now. It took a lot of self-work and some failures to get to this place and if you’re reading this and relate — it gets easier, better and even funner. Keep showing up. **
Okay. Back to the topic at hand. The salon is typical outside and typical inside. You enter on the ground level with a regular salon (a few folks were in there getting trims and blow outs) and front reception. My appointment was at 1:15 and I got there promptly and waited maybe 30 seconds to be whisked up to the head spa.
My head spa specialist Miki met me at the top of the stairs. We exchanged niceties and she quickly plopped me down in front of a MAC desktop and started trawling my noggin with a camera for scalp analysis. I took a video of the horror show that appeared on the screen - but because of the last remaining thimble of self-respect I still have - I have chosen to not make you listen to me gasp in horror and instead include the following photo:
Words used by Miki during this follicular powerpoint included “oil” “build-up” “inflamed” “very inflamed and angry” “choking” and — maybe my favorite descriptor — “clumps of suffocation.” I don’t know if any of you guys got infected by a rampant lice scenario in grade school — but I’d say my shame levels were on that tier.
“Oh my god. Am I…disgusting?” Eyes as big as silver dollars, I looked up to Miki. She shrugged. “Oh no, you’re mild!” She clunked the camera down on the desk, swiveled me around and ushered me into a private treatment room and said with an easy smile. “Now, lets fix that!”
The two private rooms used for the head spa at Blow Me Away are small and efficient. If you’re looking for extra boujie (diffusers abound, glowing candles, massage chairs, foot soak) - there’s places for that (and I have a couple on my “next side quest” list, duh) — but this is more straight ahead. Its not off-putting in the least — I’d call it relaxingly utile. Spoiler: I still almost dozed off in there.
I was wearing cowboy boots and Miki invited me to shed those and my coat. I obliged and sunk into a leather chair attached to a wash bowl. A foam wedge slid under my knees and a soft blanket appeared across my lap. She put a warm towel over my eyes. At this moment in my brain — from Snoop Dogg: “Laid backkkkk with my mind on my money and my money on my minddddd.”
I aspired to capture at least some of the steps of the treatment on my phone, but frankly, I chose to leave that warm towel in place and zen out. In the wise words of Samantha Jones, I love you- but I love me..more. That being said, I kept a mental tally of key words of each step and typed them into the notes as soon as I left as a guide. It’s here:
The red scratched through parts are some notes for another LA guide /thing substack that’s percolating. I’m basically Taylor Swift with the teasers, folks.
So following my guide — the head spa started with a basic shampoo and rinse. Miki described each product she was using for each part of this and its benefits but — I have no data to offer here other than to say it smelled good as hell and she has wizard fingers.
Then, she put my hair in a steamer cap to relax and open the follicles. It was warm and relaxing and wafts of it escaped from under the cap and down the bridge of my nose. This steam was approximately 5-6 minutes and all warm air. Here’s how that looks on someone else when it happens:
The cap came off and then, another shampoo started that I mentally noted as “marshmallow” because the lather was so fluffy and abundant. While this shampoo was still on and floofing - Miki did a scalp massage that I remembered as “sword.” She flattened her palms and fingers and rolled them aggressively in rows across my head. Hurt so good, baby.
Next, we rinsed again. And at this point, there was an upsale. I could go forth to condition with the standard conditioner that came with the treatment or I could get some very beneficial conditioner (and a take home treatment that would last me 5 months) for an extra..$80? $70? In LA- a fresh squeezed OJ was $15 a glass at my hotel. I don’t go there to be frugal, YOLO. I love an upsale, a hustle, and any carnie behavior, but that’s a discussion for another time. See below for my favorite types of human:
The expensive conditioner/ repair mask/ whatever I was sold was lathered on. Then, my hair was sectioned off into 4 parts and twisted and Miki did a more extensive scalp massage. The control and strength she has in her hands is incredible and this ain’t no job for a wilting daisy. She worked my scalp over and then made her way down to my neck and shoulders.
Then, it was time for a second steam. Cap back on. This time, the steam was warm and went to an abrupt cool shot near the end. Cap off. Rinse.
Second round of delicious head massage, hitting the temples, too. There are pressures points that Eastern Medicine recommends to spur a healthier scalp and growth, we pulverized all those. Next, a strong oil was applied to my roots and Miki worked it in by doing plucking movements with her fingers. “Peppermint grabby” was the best way to describe it, for my memory. It felt weird and good.
I wrote that the treatment concluded with a final rinse here. Who knows if I did? I was so blissfuly unwound - she could have spritzed me with a garden hose at the end and I would have accepted.
I gathered my things, slipped back into my boots and met the looming reality of the Mac desktop brain-shamer on my exit. Miki waited happily to show me my results. I’m new to this “recording my life properly” thing, okay? — thought I took a video and actually took a video for 4 more minutes after I walked away and started getting my hair dried. That being said, there’s a YouTuber named Safiya who visited this same spot and has her whole professionally-documented vlog (HERE) and her boyfriend Tyler’s results were a close ringer to mine:
Zing! I had been de-clumped, de-oiled, de-suffocated. Basically, its scalp baptism and my hair looked and felt like it had been blessed by the Lord / Miki.
After your exit assessment, the salon will provide you with tools to dry and style your own hair for free. Or (if available) you can opt to add on a blow out and style. You already know that Dave Ramsey wouldn’t be thrilled with my choice. Miki and her colleague gave me a lovely blow out and loose waves, handed me product and instructions to keep up with things at home and answered some further questions I had.
I asked if most of her clients were men or women — she said that it skews women, but she’s really seen an uptick in men. She said repeat clients come every 6-8 weeks and keep up with the maintenance and have seen all sorts of improvement with their hair from thickness to growth to a healthier scalp. And I asked “do some people just come to get away from it all and have their head tended to?” Absolutely.
Now — to be transparent - I have no real brass tacks-type evidence to be sure that my treatment did anything a regular shampoo wouldn’t do. I also don’t even know for sure if the scalp on the screen was my scalp. Of course, I also don’t know the answer to lots of questions about the universe and desperately hang on to the idea that Bigfoot is real. So, who cares? I know that my scalp *feels* clean, my hair looked fantastic and stayed looking fantastic longer than an average blowout. A week later (when writing this), I still feel..brightened by my time with Miki. It was a satisfying pampering and if I lived in LA - I could see myself being a semi-regular (once every 3-5 months) It’s no wonder they stay booked up. Long story short: I saw it, I thought it, I got it, and I get it.
For the “I Ain’t Reading All That” among us — I’ve decide to do an abridged rating with the details each time I sidequest and report back. Will def help in the End-Of-Year rankings. It’s May and I’m just now starting this, so I guess I better get inspired. Would love suggestions from you readers on where to sidequest next — and please feel welcome to answer my poll below about whether a headspa day might be for you or not.
: : : : : : YM SIDEQUEST RATING : : : : : :
Who : Solo Quest, just me.
What: 60 Minute Botanical Deep Scalp Spa
Where: Blow Me Away Salon, Los Angeles, CA
When: April 2024
Why: Influenced by TikTok folks of varying ages and demos
This Sidequest Took: 2 hours ish (with transpo, blowout, and style)
This Sidequest Cost: $135 with no add ons or tip.
High Point of the SideQuest: marshmallow lather and massage portion
Low Point of SideQuest: flashback to 4th grade lice infestation and mother looking at me like I was a pauper begging on a cobbled street
Ambience: 7/10 (Could have used some noise dampening or spa music in treatment room)
Experience: 8.5/10 (Pricey, but delivered to expectations)
Would SideQuest again?: yes, potentially. also open to trying other head spas and extended spa-type treatments. and! looking forward to using my up-sold product at home for the first time tomorrow!
As always, thank you for reading along. If you ain’t subscribed, please do! And if you are subscribed, you are an incredible person and I enjoy you.